Saturday, August 22, 2009

One Last Night

This is it, my last night in Bockman Hall before I set out for Washington. I have to say that it is eerie to have my car jammed pack, completely full, while my room is all but empty; only holding the essentials that I need before I start my trek across the country.

I have to say that this departure is a little bittersweet. On the one hand I have waited for over a year to finally go on my own internship journey. Yet on the other friends that have been on internship for the last year are finally returning back to campus and I am going to miss spending any time with them before they leave. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

This last week can best be described as organized chaos. During much of the last week it had looked like my room was hit by a tornado (which wasn't far from being truth with the weather this last week) and then proceed to land mostly in boxes. And when I actually started packing on Tuesday I thought for sure that I would end up frantically trying to get everything done Saturday night. But that wasn't what happened. In fact I was able to get my car loaded and have it read to go, clean my room and type this blog all before I go to bed. Of course this is not to say that I haven't worked hard to get my life sorted into various boxes, bags and bins all sorted to go to various places.

And with all my packing done I know am faced with the task of thinking about what is coming next, and to be completely honest I'm not sure. I don't know much about the congregation and I don't know a whole lot about what it is that I'm going to do. I know that I am going to fill out some evaluations, got to some staff meetings, lead some worship, and other such things, but what that is going to look like I have no idea. I have no idea what my responsibilities are, what is expected of me, what it is that I want to do. I feel like I am going into this situation blindfolded. And when I sit down and think about it, I find it a bit overwhelming.

And for the first time this whole week I find that I am sad that I am leaving. I think that the reality of my being gone for the next whole year has finally set in and I hope that my friends know that I will miss them all over the next year.

So with one more night I will sit with a heavy heart and ponder what will come over the next year.

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