Wednesday, September 2, 2009

A Three Hour Tour...Hike...Whatever.

So on my way into the great city of Vancouver (Washington not British Columbia) I drove by a beautiful falls that was by the highway. It was huge and I would have stopped right then and there if it wasn't for two things: a) I had no idea where my camera was and b) I just wanted to get to Vancouver so I could unload my car and be a little less stressed and get my life a little more organized. So I drove right on by and decided that one day I was going to go back and look at the wonderful falls and take pictures and generally have a grand ole time.

Now I need clothes (but Doug, what do clothes have to do with beautiful and wonderful falls? I'm getting there), more specifically I need dress clothes. So I needed to find an outlet mall and get said dress clothes. So I find a place online and I realize that it is in the same general direction of the falls that I saw on the way in. So I decide that I will go there when I go shopping for clothes. So on August, 28th I go and head out to the outlet mall. After a few hours and a few hundred dollars I finally am able to move on from the outlet mall and go to the falls. Now I don't remember where the falls are exactly but I do remember two things. They weren't right off the interstate, they were on a historic (or something like that) highway and there were signs for the falls off the interstate. So I have a decision to make, I can drive on the old highway hoping to find the falls or I can drive on the interstate and hope that I don't pass it and totally screw myself by passing it. I go down the old highway.

I come upon a parking lot and a smaller falls that I had not seen before so I decide to stop (oh, and I did bring my camera). Now I hadn't thought the whole trip through, I should have a) brought better shoes and b) brought a water bottle, but I didn't and so now I need to figure out those two things. Oh and it's lunchtime and I've had no lunch; hurray for old pretzels and jerky that I found in my car. So I go to look at the falls and they are full of pretty and nature and I see a sign for the falls that I really want to see, it's a quarter of a mile away, no big deal. So I walk on down the path, snapping pictures along the way and finally make it to the falls. And I'll be honest, it was pretty darn cool. But I was hungry and I needed hydration stat.

So I stop at a little snack stand and get a pastry and a water bottle. The water was better than that pastry (I know, it's sad). Now from the little stand I can see that there are two way better viewing areas for the falls, a viewing area at the base of the falls and a bridge. So I go up to the viewing area (photo, photo, photo) and I decided that I could take way cooler photos (photo, photo) from the bridge. So I go up to the bridge and see along the way a sign for a trail that leads to the top of the falls (the TOP of the falls!) that is a mile up the trail. I'm thinking sweet! So I go to the bridge (more photos) and I make my way up the trail to the top of the falls.

Now let me explain something about this trail, it starts off about wide enough for two regular size people to walk side by side (which was fine until you want to walk by some old couple that is putzing up the side of the mountain and refuse to let you by) and then gets to the point where two small children would have trouble walking side by side (then the same old couple goes from being annoying to a potential 911 call). But after 11 switch backs and about a mile and a quarter of hiking (the sign lied, lied I tell you). But the old people weren't even the worse, as I am hiking up there is a family that is hiking down. Not a big problem as there were many families hiking, this family was different though. They thought it would be a good idea to bring their huge stroller to the top. Now I have nothing against infants. But I do have something against idiot parents that think it is a good idea to bring a stroller up a trail that is narrow and has 11 switch backs. The dang thing took almost the whole path way and I'm sure that I was not the only one with this opinion: next time forget the stroller. I finally get to the top of the falls. And it kinda sucked. Now it was cool to be at the top but you couldn't really look down over the falls at all, in fact I was able to see more of the interstate than I was of the lower falls and the area around the falls. I was not particularly happy, but there was some come things just before the falls.

So now I begin my decent down the trail, thinking great, downhill is a lot easier than up. Oh how quickly I have forgotten how hard long downhill hikes are. I start the hike down by going behind these two young women (about my age) and I forgot how stupid some idle conversations are. One of the women had a small Pomeranian and whenever a large dog would come close, she would stop the dog (hers not the big one) and pick up the dog and say the following thing, "I know I shouldn't worry, but I do. I do worry." She would never say why, although it was implied that she was worried about the large dog eating her small dog as an appetizer for lunch, and then she would repeat that same phrase at least a dozen times (really, this is no exaggeration) and her friend would simply say, "I know, I know." And the conversation was never any deeper than that. It made my brain go numb. But at least the view was nice.

I finally make it down the trail to the bottom and I see a little fudge stand offering free stands, this is bad. And so I look at their selection and they have Amaretto fudge and it was divine! So I get three pieces of fudge (raspberry chocolate, the Amaretto and standard chocolate fudge) and am quite happy with my purchase and then I realize that I need to make my way down to my car still. So I make my little hike back to my car and finish my trip with some fudge as I drive along. And after three hours of hiking I was happy to be sitting and driving back to my new place. All in all it was a good day.


  1. So... by saying "at least the view was nice," are you implying the back sides of the women you were following?? Because that's what it sounds like!

  2. Oh you know me, I would never imply anything like that. ;) But yes, the view all around me was very nice.